no henna, no go?

Whyyyyyyyyyy am I still so indecisive on bridal henna ni?!

This internal debate on bridal henna has been raging within me since the start of mankind (Ok ah, bedek ah, I only started thinking about bridal henna a year ago hahaha) but until now masih tak boleh buat decision.

I've blogged before about how I'm neutral about bridal henna (here) and it really is dependent on whether our parents want me to wear the bridal henna. When I asked my supermother who is also the mother of all rilek jek, she gave me one of her template replies "Suka hati kau lah Na..." 

She didn't even bat an eyelid when I asked "Abeh kalau ada tetamu tanya Ibu kenapa pengantin tak pakai inai, Ibu cakap ape?"! Her reply steady je: "Biarlah orang nak cakap ape, kalau dorang tanya Ibu, Ibu jawab je lah budak budak sekarang kan ada citarasa sendiri..."

Haiiiii sejuk hati ni bila dengar jawapan macam tu, I love you till the end of time lah supermother!

Actually the person we expected resistance from is my mat's mother since she's usually more inclined towards retaining tradition (she told us it is not advisable to "cut corners" when it comes to customs bila kita tanya for her opinion on scrapping sireh dara and bunga pahar) but she was surprisingly chill about it and said that it is up to me to decide whether I want to wear inai for our wedding. She did say that my mat is to not wear inai, though, which is more than fine with us since we didn't want him to wear any in the first place! Yay! Can I just say that I am really starting to love his supermother also?! Hehe.

I was pretty set on not wearing bridal henna sometime back and was quite ready to cancel my appointment with Syraskins but wanted to get opinions from my girlfriends first... but I think that turned out to be the salah step haha because it seems like everytime I ask a girlfriend, the reply will come in a form of a shrieky "Of course you must wear inai! If you don't wear inai macam bukan pengantin!"

Oh. Got such thing one ah??? Hahahahaha. Ok lah, I have to admit that I actually do understand where my girlfriends are coming from - this bridal henna tradition is so deeply ingrained in our Malay society, that macam takde "kick" if the bride tak pakai inai. But it was this acknowledgement yang brought me back to this state of undecisiveness lor! Plus a girlfriend once told me that I can try and get special bridal treatment and/or perks like freebies or discounts or room upgrade if I go to certain places for honeymoon or go for staycation after the wedding because some of the staff I meet along the way will recognize the bridal henna. Bah.

I tried looking through pictures of pengantins who did not wear bridal henna for their wedding and saw a picture of this one pengantin who didn't pakai bridal henna and she looked pretty ok to me...

(Source: Fad Manaf Photography)

Kalau tak pakai inai, kan boleh pakai french manicure!!! Heh heh heh heh heh

Ok dah, dah. Once again macam nak self-service je tampar diri sendiri eh! Tak nak pakai bridal henna sebab kononnya tradition Hindu, pastu nak pakai manicure! Step tak nak ikut tradition Hindu tapi nak terikut-ikut tradition omputeh. Perangai songsang. Asking to kena azan kat telinga lah this one. Haha.

Oh well. Even if I do decide to pakai bridal henna, I'll most probably do away with the intricate designs yang naik sampai lengan, sampai ketiak segala, (or design ikan koi or design dragon as previously suggested by my mamat hahahahaha siak ah ini budak) and opt for simple palm design and finger tips aje. Something like this:

(Source: Fad Manaf Photography)

Looks ok kan? Plus if I wash off the henna paste really quickly then the effects won't be as gelap and it will fade out faster, kan? That's how it works, kan? Also Googled for methods to speed up the fading process, and I got this and this. Ok, bookmark!!!

One of the reasons why I'm reluctant to wear henna (besides the whole religious controversy and the fact that I'm not really a fan of henna) is also because of our post-wedding photoshoot scheduled one day after the wedding - I don't want to have henna on my hands bila ambik gambar!!! Tried negotiating with my mat to postpone the photoshoot until the henna fades off but he's resistant to the idea. So menyampah when he starts his perangai rebel without a cause tu. Pfft. One option we have is to have a pre-wedding photoshoot... which is something that both of us are trying very, very hard to avoid. Personal preference, really, don't mind us.

I tried to Google the Islamic stand on bridal henna (in a bid to try and sway my decision) but I keep reading different views sampai pening sampai mabuk sampai nak muntah jadi nya. Ada say haram, ada say tak haram! How! How to decide like that! Cock up! Fed up! Give up! (Haha yes, well, obviously for some things it's best to refer to experts and not Google)

Giving myself until the end of the month to decide this. Kalau tak boleh decide jugak nanti aku half half kan je lah eh. Right hand pakai inai, left hand don't pakai inai. Kalau tetamu tanya, cakap je trend baru, budak budak sekarang kan ada citarasa sendiri. (Hahahahaha what what, this one my mother say one ok!)