The Sanding Reception

So, after the most nerve-wrecking part of the wedding (also known as the solemnization) is over, comes the noisy merrymaking sanding reception!

We went up to the changing room (given as part of venue package by Silat Federation for pengantin usage) after the nikah to rest, ambik aircon, have a quick lunch and change into our sanding outfits.

My mamat sharing a light-hearted moment with Onan, his pak andam, before putting on his tanjak:

Wish I can post up something else that made our mak andam, pak andam and photographers laugh so hard hahahahaha but that shall remain as an inside joke between the people in that room hahahahaha and as a conversation starter for those who have the privilege to flip through our official wedding album in hard copy hahahahaha

And here's my MUA putting together my next look for the sanding hehehe

And my bridesmaids putting on their war paint for the next round! 

Hadang time!

I know some people wonder whether there is a need for hadang for a combined reception and if yes, how to go about doing it. Traditionally, hadang is meant for separate receptions, where the groom and entourage will come from a different venue. Once they arrive at the bride's venue, the bride's entourage will "bar" the groom and his entourage from seeing his bride and will only grant the groom's entourage permission to pass through the "barriers" after they are given duit hadang (Which is usually a small sum of money. Kalau nak kasi NTUC vouchers pun boleh tapi makcik pakcik pihak pengantin perempuan mungkin akan tanya kau dah buang tebiat ke ape). Obviously it works differently for combined receptions, since the groom is already at the same venue as the bride.

This was a quick mutual decision for my mamat and I - we wanted to retain the hadang tradition since it is something that we do enjoy participating in and watching so we did want to have it for our wedding. 

Well, okay, more for me than him, really. Hehehehehe.

So our arrangement was: Bride to come down to the reception hall and sit at the pelamin first, then the groom and his entourage will come down, get ready in front of the entrance and start walking in about 5 to 10 minutes later with the kompang to pass through the hadang barriers. 

Might sound silly to some partypoopers but we didn't care - we just wanted to have fun!

First hadang: My uncles and male cousins!

I imagine his uncle must be saying something along the lines of "Lek, lek, ni semua boleh berbual" hahahahaha.

Negotiation, rowdiness and berbalas pantun kecohness ensues:

Abang sachok who is also the tukang kasi duit hahaha

Dah lepas!

Second hadang: My aunts and female cousins!

Another hadang barrier - lepas! This second hadang includes an amusing impromptu dance by my female cousins at the end lol

And then the last one - bridesmaids!

Look at NAD'S UNIMPRESSED FACE, YOU GAIZE HAHAHAHAHA JUST LOOK

#UNIMPRESSEDNADAI 

Cannot take it, obviously giving her famous "NIGGA PLZ" face hahahahaha

Love how happy everyone looks in the last two shots! :D

(Well, except his uncle, of course, he looks like he is done with hadang negotiation for life hahahahaha)

I think one of my favourite moments came from my bridesmaids' hadang - they were hankering for more money during the hadang, obviously, and after awhile one of his uncles actually pekik from the back, telling them to "Baca doa Qunut dulu!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ah kan terperanjat akak sekejap kena baca doa Qunut petang petang buta hahahahaha

But the paling siak part was when my bridesmaids asked my mamat a soalan cepu emas "Kalau Farhana pergi McDonalds, makanan ape yang dia order?" ("What is the meal that Farhana will order when she goes to McDonalds?")

I thought that question was GREAT because EVERYONE close to me knows that the only thing I will order at McDonalds is a "double cheeseburger, with no pickles" (+ "yes to upsize, and drink will be iced Milo."). And c'mon, this is the man I married! Of course, he knows what my favourite McDonalds meal is.

But does he prove me right and answer the easiest question about me ever correctly?

NoooOoooOOOOOooo.

Almost wanted to karate my way down from the pelamin when he answered "Errrr... McSpicy"!!!!! Kepala hotak kau bertanjak, ENGKAU yang suka makan McSpicy, budak!!!!!!!!!! Ah kan, sampai aku pulak yang terbukak pantun.

Of course when the bridesmaids tell him he is salah, he panic lah right, so he said he knows what I always order for McDonalds BREAKFAST instead. Mintak kena terajang oppa gangnam style ini anak. Nasib baik his answer for my favourite McDonalds breakfast was correct eh. Kalau tak....... malam kau tido luar McDonalds Tampines Mall sudah, bro.

Our male cousins did the silat ceremony for us after the hadang hadang...

 

And we got to see Kompang Zapin Berdendang in action again! 

Haven't seen them since the last wedding I went to and blogged about here (which was the first time I saw them in action and fell so hard in love haha. Cinta pandang pertama, yo!) So happy to see them again but was also a bit miffed that I couldn't concentrate fully because guests started walking up to the pelamin for phototaking. Heh.

Kompang Zapin Berdendang doing their short performance <3

(I hope our videographers or one of our guests managed to record their performance?!)

The bulk of the sanding reception was phototaking, of course (for us lah, for the guests, it's the makan makan haha) - we had groups of guests intermittently going up to the pelamin to have their pictures taken with us. 

I liked that there were gaps in between for us to take a breather and take in the sights and sounds, and truly appreciate and experience the festivities happening in front of us while waiting for guests to come up and take pictures. I guess this is one of the luxuries you can enjoy if you have a combined reception? Longer period for phototaking and interaction with guests. 

I've been to weddings where photo-taking sessions were hurried and had long queues of guests wanting to take pictures because everyone had to rush for phototaking with the pengantin - usually because the couple has to rush to and fro venues for separate receptions, especially if the groom's and bride's receptions are held at venues which are hujung tanjung from each other.

We didn't have that issue so YAY!

Goofing around with props from Snap A Picture Services photobooth before going down to the bridal table to have our lunch heh heh. 

Ambik gambar bodoh macam gini, kita okay, bila kena ambik gambar look into each other eyes lovingly and hold each others' waists segala, tu yang buat kita geli geman sikit hahahahha

By the way, can I just say how freaking glad I was to have engaged Snap A Picture Services as our afternoon reception's photobooth?!?!?! Kept our guests entertained and occupied + the girls are such sweethearts and they were so energetic melayankan our guests!

But full reviews will be up in a separate entry, of course. Heh heh heh. 

Happy to report that everything was on track for our afternoon reception (We even had time to leisurely makan somemore! Yet another benefit of a combined reception - the time saved from having to bertandang can be used for more time for pengantin's lunch) but about an hour away to leaving our wedding venue for our outdoor photoshoot, the clouds started to rumble and it started raining! D:

But since I've prepped myself mentally a few days before the wedding, I knew I'd be able to survive (lol) not going for our outdoor photoshoot because of the weather - even though it'd be a bummer, I wouldn't be super affected by it or anything.

But in the words of his supermother - "Ramai orang doakan you all, Een" because the rain stopped about 10 minutes before we were due to leave for the outdoor photoshoot! So after saying our goodbyes, we left Silat Federation for Temasek Poly. Woohoo! Time to boogie!

excuse me, i'm a photographer (oh really?)

If there is something I'd REALLY like my guests to do at my wedding, it'd be to get the heck out of my official photographers and videographers' way.

I've read somewhere that that a pesky relative or two (or a few) who won't stop taking pictures and videos at your wedding and is always getting in the way of your official photographers and videographers is known as good old "Uncle Bob"

There are a few references to "Uncle Bob" but I think the relevant one in this case is:

(Source: Urban Dictionary)

Something like that lah. For me, it includes all the people who get in the way of official photographers and videographers ah, and uses all kinds of gadgets to get their shots, not just those who come toting an SLR and act macam they're the official people.

Ok, ok, I know times have changed, social media is here to stay and there is nothing we can do to stop people from feeling empowered with their iPhones and iPads and Samsung gadgets. Concerts, gigs, public gatherings and whathaveyous no longer look the same way as it did a few years ago. If you don't get what I mean... well, this is what I mean:

I still remember attending Jessie J's concert in Singapore and at one point of time during her concert she actually asked everyone to put down their iPhones, iPads and cameras for one minute so she can truly take in everyone's beaming happy faces instead of seeing a sea of beaming gadgets staring back at her. Felt and looked really nice, actually.

Now don't get me wrong - I am a big supporter and ardent user of social media... but some people really take it to the extremes and I just wish there's a balance to it, you know?

(I hate the extremities that some people exhibit on social media ok! For example, "Oh! I'm in the toilet shitting now... why does my shit look like it's turning yellow?" WTF dude, was that really necessary? And then there are morons who take pictures of their (or their brother's sister's mother's father's) bloody bernana wounds, post it on social media and shock the shit out of unsuspecting people who scroll down their timeline. Disgusting. If I really wanted to see bloody bernana wounds, I'd search for "bloody wounds with pus" on Google Images, dickhead.

OH, let's not forget the insensitive idiots who take pictures of blood and gore and severed limbs of accident victims. Damn disrespectful to the victims and their families and damn unfair to people who didn't get a disclaimer beforehand and had to accidentally see such scenes when all they did was scroll down their social media timeslines expecting pictures of yummy food, cute children and beautiful travel snapshots.

And have you guys seen all the sexual-related nonsense that people put up on social media nowadays??? Pictures of 13/14-year-olds posing in budget hotel rooms and asking tak perlu questions like "Guess where?!", pictures of girls with semen on their faces (!!!), screenshots of people describing their sexual conquests IN DETAIL SEGALA (!!!!!). It's RIDICULOUS. I'm not one to judge such actions but nak buat, diam diam sudahlah. Kau nak cakap "it's between kau and God"? Then keep your conquests between kau and God jugak ah, how about? Tak dapat duit pun kalau kau share on social media kan.

Oh, and please. Do not get me started on the extreme derpness that social media brings out in the open eh. For example, "Cupcakes at $3 each!" "Salam sis, how much are your cupcakes?" "Good food here! *tags Charisma D'Venue*" "Hey, where is this?" LAGI WTF)

..............................

Ok ok I know I dah lama terbabas dan terpesong so let us all kebelakang pusing to the main topic now, shall we. Hahahahaha.

Asssss I was saying - there is nothing wrong with using social media during happy share-worthy occasions like weddings, I feel, as long as there is a right balance to it! I usually try to wait until the official photographers and videographers have gotten their shots of significant moments whenever I'm at weddings - never mind if that exact special moment has passed by the time I get to take a shot with my grimy old iPhone.

After all, I'm not the one the newly wedded couple is paying thousands of dollars to capture all their special moments right? I'm not the one equipped with the latest camera and video gadgets that comes with the best technology and I'm not the one armed with the skill and expertise worthy of taking beautiful pictures of such special moments (Even if I was, it is not fair to "take the job away" from the official photographers and videographers, you know?)

But it frustrates me when others don't do the same, and it beats the purpose out of me trying to get out of the way - me alone (and others who feel the same way as me) will not make a difference if the official photographers and videographers have to wrestle with ten other people who don't share the same sentiment.

This also explains why I upload pictures of wedding food, favours or photobooth pictures instead of the couple when I do go to weddings - I don't want to interfere with the official photographers and videographers' work and sometimes I cannot get a good shot with or of the couple so I just let it be that way. It's not a 'do or die' so why compete with the official people who are more skilled and more knowledgeable than you?

(Of course there is another group of derp people who mati mati compete with the official photographers and videographers pastu ambik gambar tak cantik pun!!! Even worse, dahlah ambik gambar tak cantik, mati mati jugak nak upload gambar pengantin tengah ternganga, terkelip mata, gambar gambar yang blur bacin, gambar nampak bulu hidung semua on Facebook or Instagram and caption it "Selamat Pengantin Baru!" Macam tak bersalah gitu, please!  Seriously apa masalah korang ni sekarang.

This is actually one of the reasons why my mamat and I are having problems deciding on our official wedding hashtag ok - he is championing #kahwinkhronicles because that's the hashtag that we've been using when we upload wedding-related stuff and preparations on Instagram but I'm against it because I don't want our beautiful feed of nicely edited pictures to be ruined by other people!!!

Look. We love our friends and family very much, oh yes we do, and we don't judge them when they upload badly edited pictures or blurred pictures or pictures with bad angles. But we have to cross the line when it comes to potential bad pictures spoiling our own hashtagged collection that we've built up for the past 1+ years, right??? Someone - my sister, I think - told me that I should let my mat have his way with this because good pictures or bad pictures, that's the whole idea of sharing our wedding with our loved ones, right? Adds "flavour" to the collection lah konon or something tacky like that haha)

Haiz. But that aside, just wanted to share some examples of how overzealous relatives and friends can ruin potentially great shots of special moments when they compete to capture them on their own gadgets during weddings!

(Check out the solemnizer looking angrily at the offending guest in the last picture. Nampak macam dia tengah telling the guest "Oi! Sekarang jugak kau nak blocking photographer pe?!" hahahahaha)

Some articles penned about this issue:

Wedding Inspiration Unplugged

How to Enforce An Unplugged Wedding

The Unplugged Wedding

I've seen way too many pictures of local Malay weddings yang ada this Uncle Bob, or maybe in our case, Pakcik Bob (haha) - I wish I can share samples but I wouldn't want to point such things out from orang lain punya majlis. All I can say is I've seen one too many pictures of what could potentially be a very sweet and touching moment getting ruined by Pakcik Bob dan kuncu kuncunya ok.

Example No.1: I've seen a picture of a newly wedded couple on their dais lovingly staring at each other eyes - the lighting was great, the couple looked genuinely happy, the colours of their surroundings looked vibrant... PASTU KAT BELAKANG ADA PAKCIK ON THE FREAKING PELAMIN TENGAH AMBIK GAMBAR DORANG USING AN IPAD EH.

If it wasn't bad enough he was dressed in shabby polo shirt and had unkempt long hair. 

*baulks*

Apa ni???!!! Spoils the beautiful shot tau!

It was especially bad because he was using an iPad!!!!! I don't know why lah but I hold special hatred for people who block other people's view by taking pictures on iPads ok. It's like... kiwak, itu iPad besar sak. Blocking sak. Asal tak block pakai TV je. Periuk ke.

Oh, and as if it wasn't enough, there was an aspiring young Uncle Bob on the right side of the pelamin, lurking behind the pengantin perempuan's head grinning away like an idiot while watching the moment getting recorded on his videocam too!!! WAH SO DAMN PLEASED WITH YOUR FOOTAGE AH NOW. CAN MAKE VIDEO LIKE RIZAL AMIR KHAN ALREADY LAH NOW. CAN SHOOT MUSIC VIDEO FOR TAYLOR SWIFT AH NOW.

Example No.2: Few months ago, I saw a very nice picture of the tok kadi, the groom, the wali and the two witnesses seated at a table, smiling and laughing while they shared a light-hearted moment. Again, picture was beautifully shot to capture the moment - and AGAIN, THERE WAS A PAKCIK BOB. In shabby polo tee and pants. Lurking at the back. Smirking at the screen of his iPad. Probably goddamn pleased with himself for catching a picture of the moment so he can share it on Facebook with all his pakcik friends.

Kalau aku pengantin tu, aku will be upset gila sak if nampak that kind of official shot.

And yes, I know the official photographers and videographers ada mulut ada suara, boleh tell all the Pakcik Bobs to stay out of the frame for awhile so they can get a good shot. But what about those split second moments when the sun rays come in to give a quick special glow or stolen glances that last only a few seconds? Some moments are just not meant to be replicated, you know. Plus! I think most of them try not to "offend" family and friends during such occasions so they will just let it be and try to get as many good shots as they can from various angles. Pffttttt. The official photographers and videographers are the ones who should be offended by family and friends who do not respect their role and position during the wedding eh, not the other way around!!! ANGRY NI.

I know and I do realize that we will not have any control over what the crowd will do during the receptions come November, but what we plan to do is:

(1) explicitly tell Bliss Photocinema and CST Singapore about this concern - I'm sure they're experienced and skilled enough to know how to deal with such situations!

(2) inform our orang orang kuat that they have our permission to remind guests who are blocking the official photographers and videographers to give way for a short while; and

(3) print out a nice message seeking our guests' understanding to respect and give way to our official photographers and videographers on a A3 foam board, place it near the entrance and hope our guests will take the time and effort to understand and adhere to what is stated on the board. Paham tak paham, ikut tak ikut, at least we attempt.

Ni bukan tak kasi ambik gambar at the reception tau. Nak ambik gambar memang boleh. Nak upload Facebook, Twitter, Instagram semua lagi boleh. We'd like to see the wedding in the eyes (or in this case, lens) of our loved ones too! Tapi favour ah, jangan block the official photographers and videographers, please. Let them do their jobs first! Once dorang habis taking their shots, they'll move out of the way for you all punya.

And please don't cakap that our official photographers and videographers menyebok when they stand or squat in front of you to get good angles when taking official pictures ok. Siapa yang cakap gitu memang asking for my siku seven.

nak jemput ke tak?

Amalina of Happily Ever After posted this today and I remember posting it here before... and was freaked when I realized it was on the same freaking date, only last year! Hahahahaha freaky or what.

(Click to enlarge image)

Oh, and the Malay version is cute nak mampos, please. I was so tickled eh! Probably because I imagined the "Nak jemput ke tak?" being said in a makcik-makcik tengah panic voice. Hahaha tak perlu seh :p

(Click to enlarge image)

Anyway, since we're on the topic of guestlist - we've actually finalized our guestlist for our dinner reception and tinggal tunggu our parents be done with theirs for the afternoon reception. Quite worried that they'll go out of control LMFAO-style so I'm kind of mentally preparing and bracing myself supaya tak terkejut berok sangat ah kalau tiba tiba guestlist bertambah panjang macam the Nile freaking River. At most kalau terkejut pun, terkejut katak je lah eh.

Actually kan, truth be told, I'm not really thaaattttttttt bothered about an increased guestlist tau - what I'm more bothered about is... having to see people I do not want to see at my wedding reception.

Ok, make that two specific people.

I know I'll be very menyampah and meluat and macam nak buat my sanggul become a piece of deadly weapon if I see them at my wedding because it is goddamn shameless to be mingling and feasting at a reception that celebrates me and my new life after what they did and said to me on that one fateful night. But my girlfriends and my mat have told me to keep calm and choose my battles and this is one battle... I do not want to fight. I kasih and cinta my parents too much and a curt smile and a roll of the eye is far better than a bloody burning bridge causing trouble at my wedding reception... right?

So... nak jemput ke tak? Actually tak nak ah but bo pian ma.

updates from the long weekend

Oooh! Saw pictures of Liyana Jasmay's pretty wedding reception over the weekend!

(Source: Mukhriz Latif Photography)

(Source: Ryaniez Moments Photography)

Super cute couple, prefer her nikah reception punya decor over her dinner reception's, thought her wedding dress for the dinner reception is pretty adorable! Love the ribbon detail in her hair as well, might want to have something like that for my dinner reception tee hee :D

Loved the sleekness of her bridesmaids' outfits and hair for the dinner reception...

... but seriously not digging their outfits during the nikah reception:

(Source: Ryaniez Moments Photography)

I don't know - the outfits macam inspired by baju Gregorian and seems really weird to me :/

But again - orang punya majlis, orang punya citarasa, yes?

(Post note: Ok, seems like she really likes this Gregorian style...)

Anyway, taaaaalking about bridesmaids' outfits - meeting my bridesmaids at the end of this month to get our cupcake fix, I'll be passing them their gifts (Very excited about this! Been keeping their gifts under wraps for close to a month now) aaaaand discuss about their outfits. Yay yay! Already prompted the girls to start looking for ideas and inspiration so we can hopefully decide on their outfit design on that day itself then we can terus head down to Arab Street to get the kain. Chop chop, settle the kettle, no need to wait for buah to jatuh.

I was actually planning on settling the bridesmaids' outfits only in April/May 2013 (before Ramadhan/Hari Raya period sets in) but as with all other things in this #kahwinkhronicles journey, someway somehow semua kena brought forward ha ha ha. I figured there's no harm in starting now anyway, because sekarang memang period kita tengah takde anything much to settle or decide so might as well use the free time, betul tak! Plus, this whole buy kain thingamajig is actually triggered by our parents' recent borong-memborong session of kain!

What happened was: I went for lunch with my family last Saturday, and since we didn't have any plans after that, I asked my mum whether she wanted to go recce for kain for our relatives. She's been talking about buying kain to give to our relatives so everyone can buat baju sepasang to pakai during my wedding, and I thought it was a good opportunity for kita sekeluarga to do something related to my wedding together.

The intention was really to just recce for fabrics after our lunch but once kita masuk the kedai kain at Arab Street, my mum said not to waste time (I think I take after her in this aspect heh heh heh) and terus proceeded to borong the prada lace that she wanted to buy for our relatives!!!

I called my mamat (who was out with his mum) to ask how much his mum paid for the prada lace she bought few weeks earlier to act as a gauge as to whether the price that the shop assistant was quoting us boleh considered reasonable and the price she paid earlier turned out to be higher! $9 per metre higher ok! Told her we were getting the kain at a much better discounted price and she immediately told my mamat that they'll make a trip down to the kedai at that moment jugak - she was planning to buy kain for their relatives anyway (sama lah macam my mum, nak semua orang pakai boriah), so it was a golden opportunity because she pun get to buy the kain at the same discounted price. Ala ala strike while the iron is still hot, y'know? 

Told my mum about it, and she told me (away from the store assistant's earshot) that the reason why she was keen to buy itu jam jugak was because the price that the store assistant initially quoted us was already considered cheaper than those quoted by other shops that she's been to. What made it even better was my supermother managed to bargain the price down to $7 less per metre than the initial quote!!!!!

Wah, seriously tabik all our mak-mak for their bargaining skillz, man. They all ada pergi some kind of sekolah mak-mak to learn such skillz is it?!?!?! Once I kahwin and have anak, can I enrol in this sekolah to belajar the skillz jugak?!?!?! Hur hur hur.

I think it also helped that the store assistant who attended to us was super duper nice and friendly and patient nak mampos!!! If you're interested, you can look for Nabilah (She calls herself "Ilah") from Princess Fabrics located at 96 Arab Street (sebelah Royal Fabrics). We eventually left with 10 bags in hand, even bumped into my mamat and his mum (who proceeded to borong kain for their relatives as well!) on our way out heh heh

But that was not the end of it - went back to the shop the next day with my mamat and my future in-laws to buy prada lace to letak on his dulang to me, and kain samping to letak on my dulang to him. We were too distracted by the borong memborong kekecohan the day before sampai kain for dulang sendiri pun lupa!

Really super glad for the Chinese New Year long weekend because it was a very fruitful period for us, wedding-related wise - besides finally buying the kain for our dulangs and for our relatives, my mamat and I managed to spend some time catching up on our favourite show together (SAYANG RUNNING MAN!), checked our wedding budget (we're on track!) and brainstormed ideas for our Save the Date, invitation cards and seating chart for dinner reception :D

Since we've firmed up the design that we want for the said three items, I went on to prepare the instructions and mock-up for my sister and emailed them over so she can start work on them:

After all, what are little (visual communications graduate) sisters for, right? :P

Really can't wait to see how they turn out!!!!! If my sister can get them done by next month, then the next thing we need to do is source for printing quotes... although I'll probably go down the malas route and just ask my cousin (the genius behind Dekor Geeks) whether she can pass us her printing contacts heh heh heh

Oh, also decided to scrape the Save the Date video idea because now I'm too malas to carry out the idea hahahahaha so we'll just do a simple e-card to send out to our friends nearer to our wedding date. Still trying to decide when we want to send our Save the Dates out though - 3 months before? 4 months before? Can't release it too early because our guests might forget, can't release it too late because it'll beat the purpose of Save the Dates then, which is for our guests to block their schedules and plan their holiday trips around our date.

Ok lah that's all for now! Off to research for ideas and inspiration for my bridesmaids' outfits!

Besok suspect kuat ambik MC because I'm doing this while nursing a fever and a bad sorethroat. Sakit sakit pun masih nak research pasal wedding eh. Ni lah my mother panggil, perangai bersemangat tak bertempat.