kilo khronicles is in full swing

Sorry for another unintentional lull in the blogging, guys! Sumpah tak sengaja!

I've been really caught up updating my newest Kilo Khronicles journey (will story mory more in a bit!) sampai takde time and energy to invest into my Kahwin Khronicles punya journey ni. Really unfortunate sekarang pun dah no free time in office! Workload has expanded a fair bit so no blogging until I clear my work email inbox which is almost never nowadays :(

Not that there's anything much to update until April/May 2013 period actually, so for now my mat and I are busy tackling the problem that both of us have been neglecting (or ignoring, in my case, heh heh), which is our weight problem. Ini weight problem kan, memang satu berat punya masalah ah. Dari zaman Teenage Textbook Movie asyik naik turun naik turun naik turun, pikir funfair pe?! Rollercoaster jadi jadian pe?!

Because of this masalah berat, I've been spending most of my free time after work going for gym and Zumba sessions, and by the time I  reach home after these sessions, I'll have to quickly prepare meals for next day's lunch and dinner before concussing on my bed. Kalah pakcik drive teksi 7 hari 7 malam nak kasi anak anak dan bini bini makan. Pastu next day repeat same pattern! Tak lama lagi nak berak nak kencing pun kena make an appointment agaknya, sebab ni serious tak bedek punya case of takde free time to spare.

This #kilokhronicles journey has been really really exhausting but I am so goddamn determined to fit into my bridal outfits, you have no goddamn idea. Granted sekarang considered belum rabak sangat ah because I'll only be starting my 4 times a week workout regime next week before increasing to 5 times (or 6 times!) a week nearer to the wedding date. Cita cita gila, I know, but this whole wedding preparation journey is already a gila thing by itself, yes? Niat nak bernikah tu tak gila sebenarnye, tapi hal ehwal majlis nye yang gila yer.

One of the good things that came out of this whole #kilokhronicles journey is an app recommendation made by Nad (who's also cutting down her weight in preparation for her bridemaid duties for the 8 or so weddings next year hahahahaha you are truly Jane Nichols reincarnated into a booty-pumpin' Pitbull-lovin' minah Melayu lah babe) - it's called My Fitness Pal and it helps to track your calorie intake per day! So kalau you termakan terlebih sampai ter-exceed your recommended calories intake you can op op op oppa gangnam style opocot, jaga jaga yer sedara, tak boleh makan anything else for the day yer sedara.

You know what's another thing that's my saviour throughout this #kilokhronicles journey besides My Fitness Pal app and of course, the ever so easy-to-use Happy Call pan?

This awesome website called Yummly.com!!! Eh awesome ok, concept dia is similar macam Pinterest.com, and all you need to do is key in a keyword e.g. grilled chicken, chicken salad, healthy beef, healthy egg, healthy rumput (in case you need to makan rumput for the rest of the month.....) etc and they'll pull out all the different types of recipes you can try yourself! The ingredients will be listed on the Yummly page itself then kalau you interested to try the recipe, you'll have to click on the link under 'Preparation' to retrieve the full directions on how to prepare and cook the dish. 

I've been cooking and eating homecooked healthy dishes for the past month and I'm glad to say there are enough recipes to help me "spice up" my meals so tak sampai bosan hari hari telan salad and buah aje. Siape mau layan lagi sembilan bulan makan sayur and buah aje! Tak pasal pasal kena sumpah jadi kambing kwa kwa kwaa...

And of course this #kilokhronicles journey will not be complete without... a gym membership! Aku very feberet with this gym that I signed up with because it's located less than 10 minutes' walk from my rumah! That place is great for me lah ok. It's an all-women gym so you don't feel so shy or intidimated as opposed to working out in a male-dominated or co-ed gym, and you don't have to wait to use their equipment because there's a set timer for each person to use each piece of equipment - when the timer goes off, everyone moves to the next station. The other gym members and the trainers themselves are friendly as hell (at least the outlet I'm going to) and very helpful and tak condescending langsung when teaching or correcting me in the gym. This is good for someone like me who is a total noob when it comes to exercising lah! Plus I'm not very disciplined when it comes to exercising so tak boleh harapkan nak "exercise kat rumah" je selalu. Jangan nak step exercise kat rumah, please. Nanti cuma mulut aku jer yang ber-exercising, dah kenal sangat perangai.

(Heads up! If there's anyone out there who wants a 1-day gym trial pass, let me know ok! I have two free passes to give away, and I'll be more than happy to give them away to brides-to-be who are serious about losing their weight for the big day)

Ok now, since we're on this weight problem topic - can I just mention how menyampah and geram I am towards UK size 6/8 girls who freaking whine about how bloody fat they are or insist "ya I'm a UK size 8 but my tummy boncit and my arms mengelebeh and my thighs are so huge omg macam kaki gajah!"

Oh yeah? Try going up to UK size 14/16, try fitting TIGA LAPIS tummy yang boncit and mengelebeh into your baju, having arms as big as your thighs, huge thighs that actually gesek gesek against each other like they're going to mothereffing get laid in the club tonight when you jalan and a double chin that appears without you even having to press your chin against your face!

Mesti you all terjun katil, terjun kerusi, terjun meja segala ok.

Lagi nak banyak cakap. Satu satu seriously mintak kena lenyek dengan kaki gajah. Korang pergi mintak maaf dengan itu kaki gajah sekarang jugak! Tsk.

Few months back, this happened:

APAKAH MAKNA SEMUA INI????? ADAKAH DIA JAHIL??? ATAUPUN MAHA JAHIL???

URGH. Kalau UK size 14 me already so bingit listening to you stick-thin girls whine about your perceived fatness, what about those yang more than UK size 14??? You all ada spare a thought for them tak??? So insensitive bacin. I know some of their argument is that "Ya I'm UK8 but my pipi is so TEMBAB / perut is so BONCET!"

Bitch please, your "perut boncet" is the size of my tapak tangan. MY TAPAK TANGAN, you hear me? Tapak tangan that will melayang to your face if you want to insist that you're "fat". And your "pipi tembam"? Na-uh nigga, that's not tembam, that's healthy. How do you want your pipi to be??? Cengkung??? Like a tengkorak??? Which rightfully belongs six feet down on the ground and not the face of this Earth???

Seriously.

But do you know what's even worse than that? "I'm fat because I weight 50kg OMG!!!!!" Not if you're 1.65m, woman, now shut your goddamn hole because I am going to fervently pray that all you bloody insensitive skinnies gain more than 30kg and get what you all deserve for not appreciating your society-accepted figures!!! Nak sangat declare yourself as a fat person kan. You have no idea how many real struggling fat girls want your figure and there you are whining about your so-called pipi tembams and perut boncits.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO EXCHANGE FIGURES WITH ME THEN??? Tak nak kan?! Takut kan?!

When I lost weight from UK14 to UK10 just before I left poly (that's the smallest I've ever been ok, YOU UK4/6/8 UNAPPRECIATIVE BASTARDS) I was so happy and so appreciative that I could shop for all the cheap cheap good good baju and not look swollen macam I telan a tank of oxygen or something that I always marvelled at how nice and healthy I look... and I think I must've taken about a million pictures of myself during that period ah hahahahaha

Kalau about staying healthy tu lain tau. Kalau you're already slim but you want to exercise to keep fit and healthy, that is totally fine. But some of these girls!!! Sekali aku tiup, LU JADI HABUK OK BEB.

Ok bye. Nak tidur siang because tomorrow we're going to Universal Studios Singapore (USS) with our orang orang kuat!!! EH IDEA. Macam nak tanya my mamat nak buat wedding photoshoot kat USS tak!!! HOW ABOUT?!?!?! Pakai bridal gown naik rollercoaster to ambik gambar segala!!!!!

Although I suspect my mamat mesti nak ambik gambar atas rollercoaster macam gini ah:

Korang tengok lah dekni punya irritating. Nak jugak aku kahwin dengan si badut ni eh.