The night before our marriage course didn't start off on a good note.
Something happened on the night itself that made my mat and I argue sampai dua pagi and I knew that we were going to really exhausted and sleepy and cranky during our marriage preparation course which was going to happen the next two days.
It didn't help the fact that just TWO days before our marriage preparation course, my mat's platoon commander and platoon sergeant told him that there was going to be a mobilization exercise for his battalion and he was to report in full battle order on 11 May 2013!!!!! My mat emailed them a copy of the course payment receipt and applied to be excused from the exercise but it was rejected. REJECTED OK. Tak kelakar ok.
He then told them that he was willing to skip the course and reschedule to another date if SAF can reimburse our $300 course fees but it was a no go as well. So bloody unfair lor. (1) We booked the course in January 2013, waaaaayyyyy before you guys planned the goddamn exercise (2) $300 is not a small sum of money that we can suka suka throw (3) This marriage course is not a suka suka thing either - it's mandatory and a bloody requirement before we can get married ok?!
It definitely added to my frustration (and it contributed to our argument, which was about something else but somehow termasuk campur sekali) because I already told him we should not book 11 and 12 May 2013 for our marriage preparation course. It just didn't feel right + it was my birthday weekend so I specifically told him I didn't think we should book those dates. But he insisted that I should celebrate my birthday and start my 26th year of living with a marriage preparation course that will benefit me and our future - I wanted to learn to let him have his way so fine, I gave in to his request.
Tup tup tup betul betul his bloody mobilization exercise fall on the date he championed.
Ah kan, AMBIK KAU. A freaking mobilization exercise, something that happens once in every few years, just haaaddddddddd to happen on the exact date that you championed, right??? Everytime aku cakap, nak rebel without a cause kan??? Everytime aku cakap, tak nak dengar kan??? Can learn to trust my instinct more can or not, budak?! >:(
Woke up the next day feeling really creaky and sleepy but didn't want us to start on a bad note for our course so we kissed and made up after some kuih and teh (not literally, of course, because if we did that in front of all the makcik pakcik alim ulamak near Sultan Mosque, I think we will terkena spontaneous human combustion hahahahaha) and went in for the course armed with open hearts and open minds. (Oh, he skipped his mobilization exercise altogether, by the way. Tawakkal. Ape nak jadi, jadi lah.)
I previously wrote on why we chose to attend the Kasih Sejati course under Suchi Success at Masjid Sultan here - it was mainly because (1) almost all of our friends raved about it, (2) we didn't want to have a one-on-one session with an ustadz (intimidating much!), (3) our friends who went for their courses held at libraries advised against attending those in libraries (4) Suchi Success had a lot of good available dates and mosques to choose from and (5) Suchi Success' programme overview looked really promising.
And the verdict?????
I am so so sooooo glad we decided to take the reviews seriously and chose the course organized by Suchi Success!!!!! I don't think I can rave enough about it:
I am so so sooooo glad we decided to take the reviews seriously and chose the course organized by Suchi Success!!!!! I don't think I can rave enough about it:
- the content was relevant and comprehensive;
- the atmosphere was friendly and everyone was "supporting" and participative;
- the cara penyampaian (delivery) was smooth and easy on the eyes and ears;
- the facilitators knew what they were saying, there were loads of anecdotes, cracked very funny jokes at the appropriate timings, gave clear instructions and all of them had good voice projection;
- the breaks were adequate and pace of the course was just nice, I thought.
Kalau nak enjoy the course actually senang je - just go with an open mind and open heart, leave your prejudices locked up somewhere at home and God be willing, you will find the course educational and entertaining instead of stifling or boring or condescending, even. Positive vibes, positive results, babe.
(If I really must say what was lacking from the two-day course experience, it would be the fact that the chairs were rigid as hell and I had to tampal koyok at the end of both sessions because my back was hurting like a mother bitch. Some of the meals served for lunch and tea breaks were okay okay in terms of taste and serving size but my primary school friends and I chose to have our lunch at Zam Zam on the second day ah haha.
Administrative-wise, no issues on the customer service but we would've preferred if they improved their system - if you're booking to attend the course at a mosque, you have to fill up the online registration form on Kasih Sejati's website and then call the mosque directly. The mosque representative will tell you to come down to their office to make payment. When you arrive at their office, you'll be asked to fill up a physical hard copy of a registration form - information that you've already filled up in the online registration form - before making payment. Very silly to fill up the online registration form and then have to complete a registration form with the exact same information, if you ask me.)
Actually kan I think the fact that I knew 4 out of the 7 other girls at my table (excluding myself) from previous occasions helped with my comfort level as well:
- one was Diyanah of A White Wedding who I briefly knew from Temasek Poly and our involvement in our respective Malay arts groups (member jalan menonong and didn't even realize she was sitting at the same table as me at first LOL)
- one was a Zumba instructor whose awesome classes I've been to a few times (Hi Tini!!! Nice surprise to see you and your Abang Fit - as how my mat calls him hahaha - at the course!)
- one was my primary school friend (from a different clique); and
- one was my primary school friend Mamat's fiance (Kita tak janji but out of all dates and all masjids, Mamat, Ellia, another one of our close primary school friends, and I chose the same date at the same mosque lah sak hahaha abeh nampak each other dah start kecoh macam perjumpaan Hari Raya y'all).
I guess being familiar with half of the participants at my table made it easier for me somehow? Heh. Plus
my mat was at the guys' table beside ours so it made curi curi jelingan
manja sessions very easy hahahahaha (Guys and girls were separated into two sides of the room.) There were a few exercises (bukan yang kena lari atas threadmill eh, itu dah buang bin tebiat cucu kepada biadap namanye) which we had to do but my favourite has to be the very first module where we had to know our own personality and our partner's personality and how our personalities worked for our relationship.
All of us had to do a series of questions and map out a graph and then whichever fruit category in which we scored the highest described our personality - there's Anggur (Grape), Pisang (Banana), Limau (Orange) and Tembikai (Watermelon). We only knew which fruit represent what type of personality after the facilitator explained it to us - which I thought was good because there was no chance for anyone to be biased and "cheat" and we'd answer the questions truthfully instead of trying to answer them such that we will get a certain personality that we think we possess.
All of us had to do a series of questions and map out a graph and then whichever fruit category in which we scored the highest described our personality - there's Anggur (Grape), Pisang (Banana), Limau (Orange) and Tembikai (Watermelon). We only knew which fruit represent what type of personality after the facilitator explained it to us - which I thought was good because there was no chance for anyone to be biased and "cheat" and we'd answer the questions truthfully instead of trying to answer them such that we will get a certain personality that we think we possess.
I still remember the part when the facilitator asked the girls whose fruit personality is Limau (Orange) to raise their hands (only two other girls and I raised their hands) and he immediately turned towards the direction of the guys and said "Ah, habislah korang" in reference to the guys whose partners were of Limau (Orange) personality HAHAHAHAHAHA aku macam nak flip table and cakap EH BIADAP PE KAU!
Of course if I had done that, he would have proven his point about people with Limau (Orange) personality ah hahaha :P
When the facilitator flashed the presentation slide listing the traits of a Limau (Orange) personality, I instinctively turned to my mat who was already half grinning in amusement and half shooting me with "EH INI ENGKAU SIAL" eye darts hahahahahahaha:
- Pemimpin semulajadi
- Active and dynamic
- Compulsive need for change
- "Must correct wrongs"
- Berpendirian tegah
- Decisive and unemotional
- Penuh keyakinan
- Tidak mudah patah semangat
- Berdikari
- Self-sufficient
- Can run anything
I think I grinned just as hard when the facilitator flashed the presentation slide listing the traits of an Anggur (Grape) personality, which was my mamat's:
- Banyak story (Whenever he won't stop talking and telling me stories about EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN AND THE MOON AND STARS, I'll stop him and ask "Eh, you belum habis you punya quota hari ni eh??? Hahahahaha)
- Emotional
- Demonstrative
- "Colourful"
- Peramah / Senang buat kawan (Dude can buat kawan with a tree. A TREE ok.)
- Emotions written on his face
- Berani ke depan
- Suka dengan orang
- Suka dipuji
- Tidak menyimpan rasa
- Cannot tahan silence
- Life of the party
- Wide-eyed / Lika a child (Omg, his description on our wedding website actually has a similar phrase lor hahahahaha)
- Kelakar (Very kelakar fella, if I may say so myself)
- Cheerful
- Curious / Always asking questions
- Loncat loncat (Hahahahaha betul!!! Tak tau duduk diam one ini anak!!!)
OMG, SEMUA DAMN SPOT ON OK!!! What kind of freaking sorcery IZ THIZ?!
Oh, I also had to stifle my laughter so hard because I could see my mamat beaming from across his table macam lampu spotlight nak panggil Batman when he saw himself being described in such exact terms. Almost rolled over from tummy cramps even, when he gestured and mouthed that he was a "10" (The "intensity" is marked by your number so he is a Anggur level 10 whereas I'm a Limau level 7 haha!)
And then we had to describe our own strengths and weaknesses as well as our partners' strengths and weaknesses then exchange books and jot down our comments to our partners' remarks. It was a really interesting exercise, I thought, although there was one part that made me go "EH cari gaduh pe dekni"
Blue remarks made by my mat, black remarks made by me in response to his:
Hahahahahahaha kurang ajar sia!
Gila gila pun kau nak ajak kahwing jugak ok! So kau gila ke aku gila???
The rest of the other modules were really, really good as well, although I did start to doze off at the part about children hahahahaha eh that one tak sengaja ok, it was after the last break, it was less than one hour left to end of class on the first day and I lacked sleep... although I have to admit I might have lost interest during that part because I'm not... as interested as my mat when it comes to having children. Hahaha.
Definitely didn't doze off during the other modules though, which included the rights and responsibilities of a wife, communication between husband and wife, and stuff like our love language (What makes you and your spouse tick? Does he value words of love and encouragement or quality time better? Do you value him helping you with your chores or showering you with gifts?) - and of course, the module about sex was the most entertaining one of all, unsurprisingly. Guys and their lepak remarks!
But in all seriousness, I was really glad Ustadz Khair (our facilitator for that module) gave us definitive answers to the questions that we've been wondering - like, whether oral sex is allowed in Islam and whether it is true that you must do the deed under a blanket. (We asked our close couple friends before but their facilitators gave them vague answers that didn't really address the question at all lor -___-)
(By the way, my mat likes Ustadz Khair sooo much, he's now considering him as our tok kadi. He remembered Ustadz Khair from a khutbah he once attended at Al-Falah mosque and was impressed by the tone of his voice and his delivery of the khutbah. Apparently dia tak pernah pernah nangis bila dengar khutbah, jiwa boleh tersentuh bila dia dengar Ustadz Khair beri khutbah sampai dia titis airmata segala! Typical crybaby. I told him if we do get Ustadz Khair as our tok kadi, he better not start melalak right after Ustadz Khair says the akad or else I will be very upset and turn into a Freaking Giant Orange.)
Oh! We also met another couple who has the same wedding date as us!!! The girl happened to sit beside me whereas the guy happened to sit one seat away from my mat during the course and when we started talking together, we found out that our wedding dates are the same! So exciting! Which means we now know four other couples getting married on the same date as us - Liza and Hamzah from the course, Nurain of Minute Blogette, someone I used to... uhm, date, and Adibah, my friend from secondary school (we just found out today when she posted a screenshot of her wedding countdown on Instagram haha)
Speaking of which, I also met Asyura of Building Our Love Nest at the course! Always very nice to put faces to blogs :D (Babe I was looking for you after the course to ask how you found the course and to say my goodbyes but I couldn't find you! So cepat you melesap haha)
And with that...
Muka kita rainbow colour sebab happy dah boleh kahwing YAY YAY!
Now that we've gone through it, we're quite glad we decided to do it before Ramadhan because it does feel good knowing that we've fulfilled one of the kahwing requirements and no longer need to worry about it, but not so soon sampai we don't feel the bahang nak kahwing. We're definitely starting to feel the bahang ok (nothing to do with the bahang of May/June period eh), and have started contacted our vendors for appointments!
Already fixed our first ever vendor appointment with CST Singapore, but not very sure what to expect because when we only spoke to their Malaysian team when we booked their videography services at the MegaXpress Mega Wedding Exhibition in 2012 (CST baru masuk Singapore market in January 2012 and I would assume their Singapore team was not firmed up yet at that time)
Already fixed our first ever vendor appointment with CST Singapore, but not very sure what to expect because when we only spoke to their Malaysian team when we booked their videography services at the MegaXpress Mega Wedding Exhibition in 2012 (CST baru masuk Singapore market in January 2012 and I would assume their Singapore team was not firmed up yet at that time)
Now waiting for Bliss Photocinema to reply my email before I can text Kasai
Sayang! Hoping to schedule our appointments with both vendors on the
same day jadi boleh utilize our leave kao kao - really appreciate the fact that the both of us work regular office hours (no clashing shifts whatsoever) and have straightforward
leave application processes at both our workplaces because it really helps, yo!
We
usually move very fast for our preparations but appointment-wise, we've discussed and decided that we're now quite happy to lambat lambatkan our appointment dates, and push them as
near to our wedding as possible. We are mindful of possible changes to our itinerary
and all other details and it would really suck - for us and our vendors
- because we'll have to keep going back to our different vendors to update them on the latest
new and improved versions of our itinerary and plans. Recipe for
miscommunication and confusion! Yikes. (As it is, I was a bit apprehensive when we had to tell Ola Lola that we're reducing our gift trays from 6 to 5 but they were really sweet about it! The change is purely for aesthetic purposes, which serves me well anyway because truth be told, I don't like even numbers HAHA)
Next up! A trip to JB this coming weekend to cari wedding invitation cards for my mat punya side. Just my future parents-in-law, my little Anggur and Limau me! Hopefully my nervousness will not turn me into a packet of limau kasturi juice instead eh.
Next up! A trip to JB this coming weekend to cari wedding invitation cards for my mat punya side. Just my future parents-in-law, my little Anggur and Limau me! Hopefully my nervousness will not turn me into a packet of limau kasturi juice instead eh.
